Horsey Humor 6



Liz Tukey
Height: Vertically challenged
Weight: Could feed the Donnar Party for 3 years (sounds mean, but she said it!)
Age: Forever Sweet Sixteen
Sex: Who cares
Breed: The Original Pony Clubber
Temp: Beyond measurable
Pulse: Off the charts
Resp: Dangerous
Markings: Doesn't need any, a blind man could recognize Liz as long as he wasn't deaf
Vices: Spit polished bits, too loud
Owner: Big Sky Region
Farrier: Slippers, or something comfortable that is of course Pony Club approved
Vet: The only one she goes to is Dan the Body Man
Chaperone: The Gator
Where to find: Next to the water truck

Jess Holloway
Height: Doesn't need a mounting block
Weight: Who cares
Sex: Opposite of Meggan
Breed: Coldblooded
Age: Check shoe size
Temp: Direct from the freezer
Pulse: Dangerously low
Resp: Needs a respirator
Markings: Cowboy hat, and ghost white
Vices: Extremely protective of hat, roundpen sour
Owner: Meggan Holloway, Piloris
Farrier: Don't know, the boots were made before we were born
Vet: Meggan Holloway
Chaperone: Meggan Holloway
Where to Find: On the Range

Meggan Holloway
Height: Needs a mounting block
Weight: Confidential
Age: We didn't go there
Sex: Definitally female, remember Baywatch
Breed: Lion
Temp: Sizzling
Pulse: Warpspeed
Resp: Perfect when mad, otherwise needs work
Markings: Floppy hat, braid, hairy legs (who knows, maybe she braids those too!)
Vices: Doesn't use the razor she was given, swears too much, watches Baywatch
Owner: Jess Holloway, Count, & Cal
Farrier: Ariat
Vet: Tom Jacobs
Chaperone: Pony Clubbers & Judd, Jess didn't meet the standard
Where to find: On her horse of course!

Tahra Roberts

Height: Twice as tall as the D2's
Weight: Ask her horse
Sex: Female
Breed: Hard-core-pony clubber
Age: Old enough to drive, but not old enough to know how to use it
Temp: Too hot to touch
Pulse: Depends on the gait
Resp: Barely breathing
Markings: The only one with shaved legs
Vices: Doesn't know how to start car, tailgates
Owner: Privately owned
Farrier: Ask the owner, we weren't sure
Vet: The most expensive the owner can offord
Chaperone: Her parents, sorry Tahra
Where to Find: On a horse, or in a car

Josh Coleman
Height: We don't know, we couldn't reach. Ask Jody
Weight: We gave up at height, all we know is he is realllllly skinny. Better ask Jody
Age: Old enough to drive. For exact age, ask Jody
Sex: Ask Jody
Breed: Arizonian
Temp: 454
Pulse: 454
Resp: 454
Markings: White forehead, sideburns, drenched, & Wranglers
Vices: Too much Old Spice, farts, & kissing. For others ask Jody
Owner: Jody
Farrier: Justin
Vet: Nurse Quilling
Chaperone: Chris Quilling
Where to find: Just find Jody

Jody had to be in the picture too of course :-) !!!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MONTANA IF...
* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
* You measure distance in miles. Not minutes.
* Down south to you means Colorado.
* Minneapolis is "out East"
* You know several people who have hit deer, elk, moose or cattle.
* Your school classes were cancelled because of cold, but only when it was -40 F or colder. * You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
* You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
* You install security lights on your house and barn and leave both unlocked.
* You carry jumper cables in your car.
* You know what "Cow Tipping" is.
* You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
* You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
* Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
* Driving in the winter is often simply a matter of staying between the fence posts.
* You think that washing your pickup is a waste of time and money because before you get home it will look the same as it did before you washed it.
* You know how many cord of wood it will take to get through the winter.
* The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for High School Sports.
* You think that elk season is a national holiday.
* You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly".
* You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
* You know how to properly pronounce the capital of Montana, the capital of South Dakota and the state of Oregon.
* You know someone who's shot themselves accidentally.
* Driver's Education was a joke for you and all your classmates since you all had been driving since you were 10.